Share, Shallow, Shalom

You're a pretty girl, he said,
but you could be hot.
Some make-up, different hair-do.
I wondered if he thought I'd thank him.
Should I get a boob job while I'm at it?
Figures he'd take offense,
Was only trying to help.

Thanks for your thoughtfulness,
all us lowly girls need guys like you.
Guide us. Where do we begin
to impress your kind?
Your insect mind?
When I die, I hope you're available
to apply my make-up.
Then my eulogy can include,
and she's a fine piece of ass,
mmm mmm.

by E. M. Soos